Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
