Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
