I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
