I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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