Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy

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(619): View more from California

You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything

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(416): View more from Toronto

He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest

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(661): View more from California

i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

So all in all, a good night.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.

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(216): View more from Ohio

Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.

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