you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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