Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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