im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Even my vagina gasped.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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