im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
