Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
