is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
