Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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