how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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