Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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