She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
