reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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