wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
