I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
