he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
