You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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