Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize