he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
