Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
