sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
