New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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