Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
