He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
