The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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