Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
