so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
