Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
