Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
