Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
