i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
