All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
