I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
