We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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