What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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