I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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