So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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