Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
