you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Houston, we have a blender
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
