Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
3 2 1 whiskey
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
