I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
