Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
