I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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