ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
