So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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