i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
No subtext here. People are naked.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
