In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize