my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
