Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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