I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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