The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
