I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
