Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
