"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize