So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
